How To Get There From Here
Yesterday I went to Lancaster, to meet a new friend and go gallivanting around the railroad tracks over by the printing shop, looking for some alder. We found the alder, and we had lovely conversation, and then I came home.
Or, I started to come home. I was on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, just past Carlisle, when the car made Bad Noises and Started Smoking. So I pulled on off and started wielding the cell phone, which, I am happy to say, I had just charged up, and I embarked on a little education. Given the sounds the car was making, I think the education can literally be said to have been in the school of hard knocks.
Things I learned:
If you are on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Triple A cannot come get you; they alert the Pennsylvania Turnpike Authorities, who send out whichever tow truck company has the contract for that particular piece of the road.
The tow truck driver is supposed to act as if he or she is a regular driver, after he or she gets your car onto the truck, and come off the turnpike and then get back on the turnpike going the other way, if that's what's called for, but if you are lucky, you get a Kind Driver, who will deliberately misuse the Special Gates to which he or she has a key, thereby saving you some dollars, on what he or she figures is already a Very Bad Day.
If your engine is blown, you may sign over the title to the tow truck company and abandon the thing, though that's going to cost more money, and also you're going to have to rent a car to get home, besides then buying a whole nother one. It's a good idea to sleep on this decision; besides, it's getting late.
The motel nearest the tow truck company gives discounts to the stranded drivers from the Turnpike. You can walk there; it's just a mile. On dark country roads.
There will be a Bonanza Steakhouse near the motel, or something very much like it. Both the motel workers and the eatery workers have heard your story. They are very sorry. Did you want fries with that?
If, after you wake up at four in the morning thinking about all this, you decide to call up the Subaru maintenance place, in order to find out just how much a new engine would cost, it will turn out that a refurbished engine is going to cost half as much as a new one, and even if you pay to have the car towed back to Pittsburgh, and the refurbished engine put in, it will still cost less than a used Subaru in good condition, and besides, who the hell sells off their Subarus; mostly people want to drive them into the ground, or, in my case, as you see, even after they've been driven into the ground.
When you then call Triple A to get them to send a tow truck out willing to drag you to Pittsburgh, you will discover that it's the same company that came to fetch you the night before; what the hell did you expect? The business will be pretty easy, since after all your car is still in their lot.
It is a good idea to have a Very Cheerful Driver Who Really Likes To Gab, since after all you're going to be stuck in that truck for over three hours. Extra points if the driver is not only cheerful and gabby, but intelligent and kind. You will learn a lot. Really a lot. For three hours.
It is much better to be home, with one's car in the garage, than hundreds of miles away from home, with one's car in the garage.
So, that's my last two days in their entirety; I suppose the freshmen were able to console themselves eventually, even though they probably cried bitter salt tears on learning that class was cancelled. Anyway. If you're near Carlisle, Pennsylvania, and you need a two truck, you should definitely call John's Mobile Repair Service. They kick butt. And they are charming while they do it.
Or, I started to come home. I was on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, just past Carlisle, when the car made Bad Noises and Started Smoking. So I pulled on off and started wielding the cell phone, which, I am happy to say, I had just charged up, and I embarked on a little education. Given the sounds the car was making, I think the education can literally be said to have been in the school of hard knocks.
Things I learned:
If you are on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, Triple A cannot come get you; they alert the Pennsylvania Turnpike Authorities, who send out whichever tow truck company has the contract for that particular piece of the road.
The tow truck driver is supposed to act as if he or she is a regular driver, after he or she gets your car onto the truck, and come off the turnpike and then get back on the turnpike going the other way, if that's what's called for, but if you are lucky, you get a Kind Driver, who will deliberately misuse the Special Gates to which he or she has a key, thereby saving you some dollars, on what he or she figures is already a Very Bad Day.
If your engine is blown, you may sign over the title to the tow truck company and abandon the thing, though that's going to cost more money, and also you're going to have to rent a car to get home, besides then buying a whole nother one. It's a good idea to sleep on this decision; besides, it's getting late.
The motel nearest the tow truck company gives discounts to the stranded drivers from the Turnpike. You can walk there; it's just a mile. On dark country roads.
There will be a Bonanza Steakhouse near the motel, or something very much like it. Both the motel workers and the eatery workers have heard your story. They are very sorry. Did you want fries with that?
If, after you wake up at four in the morning thinking about all this, you decide to call up the Subaru maintenance place, in order to find out just how much a new engine would cost, it will turn out that a refurbished engine is going to cost half as much as a new one, and even if you pay to have the car towed back to Pittsburgh, and the refurbished engine put in, it will still cost less than a used Subaru in good condition, and besides, who the hell sells off their Subarus; mostly people want to drive them into the ground, or, in my case, as you see, even after they've been driven into the ground.
When you then call Triple A to get them to send a tow truck out willing to drag you to Pittsburgh, you will discover that it's the same company that came to fetch you the night before; what the hell did you expect? The business will be pretty easy, since after all your car is still in their lot.
It is a good idea to have a Very Cheerful Driver Who Really Likes To Gab, since after all you're going to be stuck in that truck for over three hours. Extra points if the driver is not only cheerful and gabby, but intelligent and kind. You will learn a lot. Really a lot. For three hours.
It is much better to be home, with one's car in the garage, than hundreds of miles away from home, with one's car in the garage.
So, that's my last two days in their entirety; I suppose the freshmen were able to console themselves eventually, even though they probably cried bitter salt tears on learning that class was cancelled. Anyway. If you're near Carlisle, Pennsylvania, and you need a two truck, you should definitely call John's Mobile Repair Service. They kick butt. And they are charming while they do it.
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