In Which We Admire the British Transport Police
In one of its masterful strokes of irony, the universe has delivered to my door, on the very same day, the excellent replacement for my stolen laptop AND a missive from the British Transport Police, which begins:
On 25 JUNE 2005 you reported to Police an offence of THEFT OF LAPTOP. Please note the following details.
1. The Reference number is __________.
2. The Police Station dealing with the incident is CRIME MANAGEMENT CENTRE.
3. The telephone number is __________.
For all enquiries in the first instance:
YOUR CONTACT NAME IS ______________.
YOUR CONTACT TELEPHONE No IS ___________.
This matter is receiving attention and we shall keep you advised should any progress be made.
Oh, goody. Let's all hold our breath.
The missive goes on to explain where I can go for Victim Support, so that I can speak to someone who has "considerable experience in talking to victims of crime."
Also, they have sent me a little brochure, which explains to me the police and court proceedings, should any court proceedings emerge, which in my case they won't, and also explains the Victim Support System in more detail.
Now, in my case, the Victim Support System is irrelevant, cause I don't need it. Which I explained to the nice officer who took the information back on 25 JUNE 2005 when I reported the incident of THEFT OF LAPTOP. He told me that he was required to explain the Victim Support System to me, which he then did, and I told him that I appreciated the information, and I was glad that he had given it to me, but that really, I would be in the States less than 24 hours later, and that probably should I need support, neither he nor I wanted to pay for the long-distance phone calls, so I'd best receive it closer to home. Also that I was 51 years old, and no stranger to the ways of the world, and all I'd lost was a laptop which I could replace, though naturally I was annoyed that I had to, and that I wasn't hurt, and I wasn't traumatized, and that I'd been traveling back and forth to Europe for 25 years and this was the first time anything had gotten stolen, and that actually I was just fine. I didn't mention that the whole thing was blog fodder, and I was already writing it up in my head, but frankly, that's probably part of my Victim Empowerment Scheme too.
(And, searching my little brain, I find no evidence of internal trauma. My laptop got stolen at Victoria Station. I'm fine. Apparently my subconscious thinks of the Incident as a sort of travel tax on the middle class. I've moved on.)
Now, I've got no idea what the British Victim Support System is like in reality. I don't live there, and I'm not using them. For all I know, the Victims are more traumatized after the process than before.
But I'm enchanted that they've sent, at their own expense, materials to me, who am so far away, in case I need to discuss the trauma that losing my laptop has caused me.
Really, I was more upset about losing the journal, within which I had recorded my FEELINGS during the three weeks of hell that was my archival trip to England (not England's fault, the hell, you understand; all due to my work and my little brain, which is much more traumatized by my Work than by the Russian Mob), and the excellent Sensa Pens which were also in the laptop carrier.
The laptop, on the other hand, has now been replaced by a better machine, the Dell Inspiron 600m, with the most hilarious fake burlwood cover in the world.
Lord, I love this fake burlwood cover. Who thought this up. I could have gotten it plain, of course, or in various trendy colors. But I love the idea that the laptop looks like it's got a wood cover, which it doesn't, and which makes no sense. Hilarious. Cheers me up every time I see it.
Anyway. I'm currently fond of the British Transport Police, and I wish them well.
And God knows, they've got bigger things to worry about at the moment than my damned laptop. Or even, as it happens, the Russian Mob.
As does the Victim Support System.
On 25 JUNE 2005 you reported to Police an offence of THEFT OF LAPTOP. Please note the following details.
1. The Reference number is __________.
2. The Police Station dealing with the incident is CRIME MANAGEMENT CENTRE.
3. The telephone number is __________.
For all enquiries in the first instance:
YOUR CONTACT NAME IS ______________.
YOUR CONTACT TELEPHONE No IS ___________.
This matter is receiving attention and we shall keep you advised should any progress be made.
Oh, goody. Let's all hold our breath.
The missive goes on to explain where I can go for Victim Support, so that I can speak to someone who has "considerable experience in talking to victims of crime."
Also, they have sent me a little brochure, which explains to me the police and court proceedings, should any court proceedings emerge, which in my case they won't, and also explains the Victim Support System in more detail.
Now, in my case, the Victim Support System is irrelevant, cause I don't need it. Which I explained to the nice officer who took the information back on 25 JUNE 2005 when I reported the incident of THEFT OF LAPTOP. He told me that he was required to explain the Victim Support System to me, which he then did, and I told him that I appreciated the information, and I was glad that he had given it to me, but that really, I would be in the States less than 24 hours later, and that probably should I need support, neither he nor I wanted to pay for the long-distance phone calls, so I'd best receive it closer to home. Also that I was 51 years old, and no stranger to the ways of the world, and all I'd lost was a laptop which I could replace, though naturally I was annoyed that I had to, and that I wasn't hurt, and I wasn't traumatized, and that I'd been traveling back and forth to Europe for 25 years and this was the first time anything had gotten stolen, and that actually I was just fine. I didn't mention that the whole thing was blog fodder, and I was already writing it up in my head, but frankly, that's probably part of my Victim Empowerment Scheme too.
(And, searching my little brain, I find no evidence of internal trauma. My laptop got stolen at Victoria Station. I'm fine. Apparently my subconscious thinks of the Incident as a sort of travel tax on the middle class. I've moved on.)
Now, I've got no idea what the British Victim Support System is like in reality. I don't live there, and I'm not using them. For all I know, the Victims are more traumatized after the process than before.
But I'm enchanted that they've sent, at their own expense, materials to me, who am so far away, in case I need to discuss the trauma that losing my laptop has caused me.
Really, I was more upset about losing the journal, within which I had recorded my FEELINGS during the three weeks of hell that was my archival trip to England (not England's fault, the hell, you understand; all due to my work and my little brain, which is much more traumatized by my Work than by the Russian Mob), and the excellent Sensa Pens which were also in the laptop carrier.
The laptop, on the other hand, has now been replaced by a better machine, the Dell Inspiron 600m, with the most hilarious fake burlwood cover in the world.
Lord, I love this fake burlwood cover. Who thought this up. I could have gotten it plain, of course, or in various trendy colors. But I love the idea that the laptop looks like it's got a wood cover, which it doesn't, and which makes no sense. Hilarious. Cheers me up every time I see it.
Anyway. I'm currently fond of the British Transport Police, and I wish them well.
And God knows, they've got bigger things to worry about at the moment than my damned laptop. Or even, as it happens, the Russian Mob.
As does the Victim Support System.
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