Do NOT Mess With the Medievalists
I did indeed get that paper written, and it's lovely, just lovely. But I was scheduled for the last session of the conference -- always a dicey slot. Lots of people have gone home by then. It's like the first session of a conference, at which lots of people haven't arrived.
As it happened, lots of people had NOT gone home yet -- no, no; they were all staying until Sunday. Because the conference was in Charleston. So, you know, it's nice to have Saturday night in Charleston. And there were only three medieval drama sessions, and a bunch of medieval drama scholars, so I was looking forward to seeing everybody one last time, and having some lovely medieval drama conversation.
Well, I went to the business luncheon, and had nice crab cakes and some pecan pie that caused several of the women at the table to have hysterical giggling fits which were uncontrollable and became downright embarrassing (oddly enough, one of them wasn't me -- don't know how that happened), and at the business luncheon it was announced that my session had been moved out of the hotel and into some other building a block away so that we could have access to audio-visual machines, and then the luncheon was over, and the two other people giving papers, and the person introducing us, and me, went on over to the other building, and read our papers to each other.
Nobody showed up. Nobody.
Ok, that was a slight exaggeration for dramatic effect -- an undergraduate from the College of Charleston who was helping out with the conference and had walked us over to the new building stayed to hear the papers, and I guess, rack up heavenly brownie points.
So we read our papers to each other, and we wondered where the other medieval drama people were, who had after all been at the luncheon, and weren't going home till the next day, and we were cheerful and asked each other lots of questions so it looked like there were more of us, and then I went on back to the hotel and had a nice time at the spa (salt rubs! yes! would like one every day, please!), and then as I was going back up to my room I ran into one of the other medieval drama scholars in the elevator and she asked how the session went and I said we were fine but there was nobody there, and she got this horrible stricken look on her face and said, we were all out in a pack! We were down at the Battery!
Ah. I see.
I'm so cheerful about this I cannot tell you, because I now have some lovely ammunition for next year. I mean, I went to TWO sessions where one of my bestest buddies was giving a paper or organizing something or other, and does he bother to come to mine? No, he does NOT! Instead, he cavorts all along the Battery, snorting beer out his nose whilst laughing at medievalist jokes.
When I see him next year, I'm not going to complain, not me. I'm going to be all solicitous and charming and tell him how sorry I am he missed the boat to Fort Sumter, I know he was SO counting on seeing that historic site, and it is an exciting place to visit, and necessary to one's understanding of American history. No, there wasn't anybody at the session, I'll say, but it was just fine! I SO enjoyed Karl's paper on the Harrowing of Hell, and he had such interesting representations I hadn't seen before; the changes in the imagery after the Reformation are absolutely galvanizing!
Heh heh.
No problem about having missed my paper, no problem at all -- and when is your nest session? Cause I'd SO hate to miss it; I've been SO interested in your subject. Oh, it's this afternoon? I'll be there, then! I'd like a chance to get to the beach (we're in Daytona Beach next year), but I can put that off till later, certainly. I would NOT want to miss your paper!
Next year, I believe I'll start my run for the board! Ha! Ha, ha!
I'm going to win on guilt votes alone.
As it happened, lots of people had NOT gone home yet -- no, no; they were all staying until Sunday. Because the conference was in Charleston. So, you know, it's nice to have Saturday night in Charleston. And there were only three medieval drama sessions, and a bunch of medieval drama scholars, so I was looking forward to seeing everybody one last time, and having some lovely medieval drama conversation.
Well, I went to the business luncheon, and had nice crab cakes and some pecan pie that caused several of the women at the table to have hysterical giggling fits which were uncontrollable and became downright embarrassing (oddly enough, one of them wasn't me -- don't know how that happened), and at the business luncheon it was announced that my session had been moved out of the hotel and into some other building a block away so that we could have access to audio-visual machines, and then the luncheon was over, and the two other people giving papers, and the person introducing us, and me, went on over to the other building, and read our papers to each other.
Nobody showed up. Nobody.
Ok, that was a slight exaggeration for dramatic effect -- an undergraduate from the College of Charleston who was helping out with the conference and had walked us over to the new building stayed to hear the papers, and I guess, rack up heavenly brownie points.
So we read our papers to each other, and we wondered where the other medieval drama people were, who had after all been at the luncheon, and weren't going home till the next day, and we were cheerful and asked each other lots of questions so it looked like there were more of us, and then I went on back to the hotel and had a nice time at the spa (salt rubs! yes! would like one every day, please!), and then as I was going back up to my room I ran into one of the other medieval drama scholars in the elevator and she asked how the session went and I said we were fine but there was nobody there, and she got this horrible stricken look on her face and said, we were all out in a pack! We were down at the Battery!
Ah. I see.
I'm so cheerful about this I cannot tell you, because I now have some lovely ammunition for next year. I mean, I went to TWO sessions where one of my bestest buddies was giving a paper or organizing something or other, and does he bother to come to mine? No, he does NOT! Instead, he cavorts all along the Battery, snorting beer out his nose whilst laughing at medievalist jokes.
When I see him next year, I'm not going to complain, not me. I'm going to be all solicitous and charming and tell him how sorry I am he missed the boat to Fort Sumter, I know he was SO counting on seeing that historic site, and it is an exciting place to visit, and necessary to one's understanding of American history. No, there wasn't anybody at the session, I'll say, but it was just fine! I SO enjoyed Karl's paper on the Harrowing of Hell, and he had such interesting representations I hadn't seen before; the changes in the imagery after the Reformation are absolutely galvanizing!
Heh heh.
No problem about having missed my paper, no problem at all -- and when is your nest session? Cause I'd SO hate to miss it; I've been SO interested in your subject. Oh, it's this afternoon? I'll be there, then! I'd like a chance to get to the beach (we're in Daytona Beach next year), but I can put that off till later, certainly. I would NOT want to miss your paper!
Next year, I believe I'll start my run for the board! Ha! Ha, ha!
I'm going to win on guilt votes alone.
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