Belt Route Escape System: Oh, Really.
As I posted earlier today, I was pretty pumped to hear that the Pittsburgh Rainbow Colored Belt System was meant to be an evacuation route, because as an escape route, it's hilarious, on account of everybody on it would be going in circles around Pittsburgh and not actually escaping anywhere.
Discussed this with Sam some. He said that all the major cities had to have escape routes. Well, that stands to reason. But he was pretty sure that other cities besides Pittsburgh had these circular color coded belt systems.
Not Albuquerque, I said. I would have heard about this.
But then, I thought, what a hoot. A circular belt route system around Albuquerque. Mostly would consist of dirt tracks across the mesa; you'd drive your pickup truck through the barbed wire fences, around and around Albuquerque. In concentric circles. Sometimes if you went out far enough you'd end up in Moriarity. Or, better yet, Santa Fe, in which case you could have lunch at the Shed. A good end to an escape day. Blue-corn red chile enchiladas. Num.
Anyway, we had to find out what's REALLY going on.
So we did. And now we will tell you.
Oh Pittsburghers, the color-coded belt system is not an escape route. So do NOT drive around in concentric circles if Something Bad Happens Downtown. That is not the plan.
Here's what happened, according to the Pittsburgh City Paper Online. After World War II, when a whole bunch of other cities were building those fancy beltway systems that allow you to get from, oh, let's say, Buffalo to Long Island without actually driving through Manhattan itself, Pittsburgh didn't have one and wasn't planning one and couldn't afford one. So instead of building one, we put signs on the existing roadways, in more or less circles, and labeled them belts. Oh, joy. Even though three of them aren't belts at all, on account of they aren't complete circles.
So if you'd like, you COULD drive around Pittsburgh without ever going in. But you couldn't actually escape anywhere to speak of. And, as we all know, evacuation is over the bridges. Period. You might as well walk.
And what, you may ask, about Albuquerque? What is the escape plan for Albuquerque? Is it color coded?
Oh, hush, you did too want to know.
Guess what!
There isn't one! Not color coded, not nothing.
Although, really, it seems pretty clear to me. You get on one of the two freeways and you drive the hell out of town.
That's what we were planning to do when I was in high school, at any rate -- we used to sit on the back lawn at lunch discussing this a lot -- admittedly it was the early 70's and we were stoned -- cause it was clear to us that when The Big One hit it MIGHT be sent to Manhattan, but it was probably coming to Albuquerque instead, where all our dads were working as top-security scientists over at Sandia Labs, or officers in the Air Force, and there were, we believed (and rightly so), one hell of a lot of nuclear warheads stored in the area. Probably under our high school. Well, close enough: Kirtland Air Force Base.
But there you are on the freeway -- which way to go? South? Nah. White Sands coming up. North? Nah. Eventually you hit Los Alamos. East? Nah. You'd drive and drive, and end up in Georgia, and there're too many nuclear warheads there, too.
West, that'll do. Let's all go to Arizona. And THEN drive in concentric circles.
Discussed this with Sam some. He said that all the major cities had to have escape routes. Well, that stands to reason. But he was pretty sure that other cities besides Pittsburgh had these circular color coded belt systems.
Not Albuquerque, I said. I would have heard about this.
But then, I thought, what a hoot. A circular belt route system around Albuquerque. Mostly would consist of dirt tracks across the mesa; you'd drive your pickup truck through the barbed wire fences, around and around Albuquerque. In concentric circles. Sometimes if you went out far enough you'd end up in Moriarity. Or, better yet, Santa Fe, in which case you could have lunch at the Shed. A good end to an escape day. Blue-corn red chile enchiladas. Num.
Anyway, we had to find out what's REALLY going on.
So we did. And now we will tell you.
Oh Pittsburghers, the color-coded belt system is not an escape route. So do NOT drive around in concentric circles if Something Bad Happens Downtown. That is not the plan.
Here's what happened, according to the Pittsburgh City Paper Online. After World War II, when a whole bunch of other cities were building those fancy beltway systems that allow you to get from, oh, let's say, Buffalo to Long Island without actually driving through Manhattan itself, Pittsburgh didn't have one and wasn't planning one and couldn't afford one. So instead of building one, we put signs on the existing roadways, in more or less circles, and labeled them belts. Oh, joy. Even though three of them aren't belts at all, on account of they aren't complete circles.
So if you'd like, you COULD drive around Pittsburgh without ever going in. But you couldn't actually escape anywhere to speak of. And, as we all know, evacuation is over the bridges. Period. You might as well walk.
And what, you may ask, about Albuquerque? What is the escape plan for Albuquerque? Is it color coded?
Oh, hush, you did too want to know.
Guess what!
There isn't one! Not color coded, not nothing.
Although, really, it seems pretty clear to me. You get on one of the two freeways and you drive the hell out of town.
That's what we were planning to do when I was in high school, at any rate -- we used to sit on the back lawn at lunch discussing this a lot -- admittedly it was the early 70's and we were stoned -- cause it was clear to us that when The Big One hit it MIGHT be sent to Manhattan, but it was probably coming to Albuquerque instead, where all our dads were working as top-security scientists over at Sandia Labs, or officers in the Air Force, and there were, we believed (and rightly so), one hell of a lot of nuclear warheads stored in the area. Probably under our high school. Well, close enough: Kirtland Air Force Base.
But there you are on the freeway -- which way to go? South? Nah. White Sands coming up. North? Nah. Eventually you hit Los Alamos. East? Nah. You'd drive and drive, and end up in Georgia, and there're too many nuclear warheads there, too.
West, that'll do. Let's all go to Arizona. And THEN drive in concentric circles.
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